A Few Words on Change

I am typically the kind of person who can think very well on his feet. In high school and college I competed in competitive speaking where I did well in debate, extemporaneous speaking (30 minute prep for 7 minute speech) and impromptu speaking (1 minute-ish prep for 5 minute-ish speech). I am no stranger to drastically changing topics and situations, and can typically deal with them without problem.

Today, I am feeling a bit nervous about change - I'm entering a new set of circumstances with next to no preparation and concerned I may not immediately be able to meet the high standards I have set for myself. I'm changing sections at work with no more guidance than the information in the protocols and the direction of "make it pretty." That's not to say I've been shunned to an area and have been forgotten - instead, I was moved because of a recognition of my obvious talents, ambitions and accomplishments. That's something to remember, I guess.

That being said - I'm still feeling a bit unsure about this change.

The Comeback Tour!

To my many readers who may have noticed, I have been gone for several weeks. My modem and my BlackBerry decided that they were going to simultaneously quit on me (I seem to recall mentioning this in an earlier post - now all the staples are gone from my staple gun. Coincidence? I think not...)

Needless to say I'm back and have some writing to make up for. I will do my best to get completely caught up and give you guys some excellent ideas for christmas!

Uh oh... Busted...

So today I was busted. I was pretty sure I was all alone in my section at work, and even though it isn't acceptable I decided that I would go ahead anyways: I broke out the Christmas music.

Now I do fully understand that it really isn't socially accepted to acknowledge Christmas before Thanksgiving has even passed. However, I'm in a blah mood and wanted to be cheered up. Much like the promise of a 12-year-old on cough syrup to R. Kelly, I can't help but get excited at the prospect of the holidays.

There are many things to be excited about, too. I am continuously chugging along with my Christmas knitting (which I may not be able to post right away, since it would ruin the surprise for Christmas!), I am eagerly anticipating the day after Thanksgiving to put up my lights and I can't wait to get a little tree to decorate! Supposedly Glee is putting out a holiday album (as long as Rachel isn't singing "Oh Come, All Ye Faithful" I will be happy... Since I like that song, but increasingly not liking her). Oh, and my Christmas bonus this year will go towards my pet deposit... Since I'm getting a puppy shortly afterward.

Now, as far as being busted: well, a coworker just really liked the sound of my music and wanted to come ask who it was (Josh Groban Christmas Album). So it wasn't even as bad as it could have been... But yes, I am so ready for Christmas-time!

In short, there are so many things about the holiday season I love that I really don't understand how anyone could be unhappy at this time of year.

The Life of a Tree

For those who are unfamiliar with his work, Tyler Perry uses the character Mabel Simmons (or "Madea" to those who know her best) to provide a bit of wisdom in terms of what to actually expect out of life. While I've read numerous reviews that chastize Perry for this portrayal since it often plays upon existing stereotypes, yet I can't help but fall in love with the wisdom of Madea. It may have a bit to do with the fact that I feel Madea typically approaches issues in the way I was raised to believe is appropriate with my family - tackle issues head-on with some genuine common sense, a blunt (almost brutal) sense of honesty and the love and support of a family that is there for you.

While reflecting on a couple things today, I remembered something that Madea once said people in your life. All people in your life can be categorized in terms of a tree. Now since I actually bear the common name of a tree from the western US and Canada, this particularly resonates with me and I wanted to share it with you.



However, I feel that this needs to be expanded upon. Madea establishes a notion that people can fall into the category of leaves, branches or roots. However, since even the leaves are able to give a bit of shade this leads to the belief that all people are beneficial to the tree. It is this notion that I strongly disagree with, and offer the following additional categories

Locusts: In your life, some people are locusts. They do nothing but sap your strength, take what they can from you and attempt to drive you insane with their incessant chirping. Locusts are bad since they are able to hone in on you when you are weakest, and they return time and time again to try and take what they can from the tree. Nothing you can do will keep them away indefinitely, and there is no way of exterminating them all. Even if a tree hardens itself to their advances, there is usually one locust that can find it's way in to attack the tree. Many of my exes are locusts.

Frost: There are people in your life that can sneak up on you and do their best to do immense damage; these people are a frost to the tree. They can creep up in the dead of night without warning and do their best to create an environment so inhospitable to the tree that it is pushed to the point of using it's energy just to survive. The good thing about a frost is that it doesn't last forever. The frost may cause scarring, but if the tree survives it will be that much more unique and appealing to someone genuinely ready to appreciate and care for the tree. My father is a frost.

Bees: Some people in your life are like bees. They flit around from tree to tree, and typically are just trying to get at your nectar. I'm happy to say that I was raised to be a tree that doesn't bloom (my name is the common name of a conifer, actually), so no matter how hard a bee may try they aren't going to get anything from me. That being said, they still try. Bees can be annoying and potentially dangerous to the well-wisher that wants to appreciate the tree. Many of the people who didn't even get a chance to be exes are bees.

There are undoubtedly a great many other categories that could be added, but those are the additions that I think need to be made. Luckily however, I am named after a very good tree - and I share similar traits. My tree is one of the first to recover after a natural disaster, and I can indeed recover from trauma very quickly. My tree is one of the first to grow, able to develop an decent root system to support itself, and I'm glad to say that I have an exceptional support system as well - people who actually earn the title of "my friend" are truthfully very good people.

Two Storage Tubs...

My friend Leigh posed this idea to me, and it seemed like a really good notion for assessing what is actually important to me. It's actually played like something of a game, but it goes a bit like this: Say that somebody who is FABULOUSLY wealthy falls madly in love with you (and of course, you with them... otherwise the game makes no sense :p). Said person desperately wants you to come and live with them, but you can only bring 2 rubbermaid storage tubs of your stuff with you; what do you bring? Of course, anything you need can be bought when you arrive at your destination on the other side of the world, but what things are important enough that you actually need to bring them? So this is what I decided:



I'm reasonably certain if I bare-root packed all of my plants, I could get them into a single storage tub... well, most of them anyways. Now don't run away with some foolish notion that this is all of my plants... or even most of them... or even half of them. But yea, I'm pretty sure I could do it. They'd be packed into one tub so tightly they wouldn't even need any packing material. :)



This is Melville. He's a jewish moose who dreams of one day growing up to become a tiger. I got Melville at one of the hardest points in my life and he's been with me ever since. He also has a friend, Coco the Gorilla, that would have to come as well... but she's camera shy. Well, Coco likes my regular camera but didn't really show up at all with the camera on my phone (my real camera is dead... and I didn't feel like going to the store to get new batteries).



An ex-coworker of mine did this painting for me, an oil on canvas painting of a bonded pair of Great Indian Hornbills. I really like this painting, since it was made based on a pair of birds I actually work with; the painting itself seems to have a sense of life I haven't really seen in other artwork.



Now we start with a bit of Grandma's stuff. I inherited a pretty substantial elephant collection (she absolutely loved them), especially considering then mom and I got grandma elephants at every possible opportunity; these ones are special. The brass elephants are ones that my mother got my grandma long ago, and I would actually play with them as a kid; rearranging them, imaginatively coming up with stories as to where they were going. The carved soapstone elephants are actually the last ones I ever got my grandmother, got them for her birthday almost 2 years ago. I wouldn't go anywhere without these elephants.



This was Grandma's crucifix, from around the 1930's. It currently sits over my bed.



There are a couple things in this picture that would have to come with me, and again, both belonging to grandma. First, the pink vase in the background. I realize that it's not particularly hard to do and that I'm pretty good with plants, but every bit of ivy I put to root in that vase takes off and thrives. I also have Irish Crystal glasses that are very important. When I was a kid we would order chinese food, drink Sprite out of those glasses and feel fancy. It's not included in this picture or in the plant picture above, but I also still have the ivy my grandmother grew in an olive oil bottle for me... needless to say, that would come too.

So there you have it, those are the things that are important to me. Oh, it should go without saying that you get to take any pets you have with you, Leigh determined that to be part of the rules since she was not going to go anywhere without her animals and I must say I am very happy with that since Reptar (my iguana) is not particularly fond of other people. So there you have it... why not take the time to contemplate what is particularly important to you. What would you take if you only had two storage tubs?

Easy Recipes - Chocolate Mousse

Far too many people asked for this for me to ignore it, so here is a recipe I use to make a nice chocolate mousse. This recipe, like all things I make, has a bit of room for change depending on your personal taste. However, I'll explain this along the way.

First, the ingredients:
1 pt Heavy Whipping Cream
3 T Powdered Sugar
1 12oz package Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips
2-3oz Alcohol (Grand Marnier, Triple Sec and Rum are options - actual amount will depend on the alcohol content of what you are using. Higher alcohol content means you will need to use slightly more)
1t Vanilla Extract

1) Put your METAL mixing bowl and beaters in the freezer. Leave them there for at least one hour, preferably overnight. Using a cold bowl and beaters will help maintain the fats in the whipping cream and keep you from making butter instead of whipped cream.

2) In a manner that works best for you, begin to melt the package of chocolate (save a few of the chips for a garnish, if you wish), Vanilla Extract and your alcohol of choice (I typically use Grand Marnier to make a nice Orange-Chocolate Mousse, but even Triple Sec will work. Use Rum for a different flavor, or try something else if you're feeling brave). I typically place all these ingredients in a microwave-safe bowl and microwave in 15-second increments. Always start on the light end of the spectrum with regard to the alcohol of choice (because you can always add more, but can't take it away). There is a chance that your chocolate may end up looking like this:



This melting chocolate is lumpy and dull in color because it needs more fluid

I actually took the picture specifically to show the problem  of chocolate seizing up. This will happen if there is a fluid in the mixture, but not enough to adequately saturate the chocolate solids and sugar in the chocolate. If you add a bit more liquid, you can get this:



Isn't it shiny and pretty?


You'll notice that I have a few small bits of solid chocolate still in the mixture. Instead of using a whisk for a perfectly smooth mixture, I prefer to use a fork to leave the small chocolate bits - it gives a bit of textural intrigue. If you don't like it... well, use the whisk.

3) Pour your heavy whipping cream and powdered sugar into the chilled mixing bowl and use the chilled beaters to begin to aerate the mixture. Start on the lowest setting until you generate a fair bit of froth, then turn up the power to one of the highest settings. Since the cream is warming up the entire time it is outside the fridge, you want it to get light and fluffy as soon as possible. It should look like this:

Whipped Cream... you can just do this step if you just want fresh whipped cream, excellent on Strawberry Shortcake

4) Pour 1/3 - 1/2 of the whipped cream mixture into chocolate mixture and stir it. You want to get it fully integrated, it will help lower the temperature of the chocolate and get it to a similar consistency of the whipped cream.

5) Take the remaining whipped cream and FOLD it into the cream/chocolate mixture. You don't necessarily need to COMPLETELY mix it, but get it decently put together.

6) Place the mixture in the refrigerator and let it set for at least 4 hours. Trust me, it will get better the longer you let it set. If you don't let it set all the air will leave the mousse. It will deflate and it will be almost too rich to eat.

7) I like to serve the mousse in wine glasses (when I don't decide to sit down and inhale the bowl in one sitting). I wrap the rim of the glass with wax paper to prevent chocolate smears and lightly fill the glass. This is a VERY rich dessert and you don't need much to be satisfied. Feel free to add the chocolate chips, if you held on to them.

Isn't it pretty?

It should go without saying... Enjoy!

Things I Am Thankful For - Kitchen

The main thing associated with November here in the US is Thanksgiving - a time to recognize all the things we are thankful for in our lives (like a nice climate - take that, Canada!). Well, as I was cooking today I couldn't help but notice a few things in my kitchen that I readily take for granted. I figured I would share these with you guys because they are things that I feel everyone needs in their home.

1) Wax Paper
With so many uses and applications it's a small wonder that more people don't use wax paper. Not only is it useful to keep things from sticking while preparing them, it can be used to keep things from getting very messy indeed. Need to knead a particularly sticky bit of dough? Try wax paper. Icing cookies with a less than skilled hand? Try wax paper. With it's ability to prevent just about any mess from getting out of hand, the only sad thing is that starlets like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears didn't discover it sooner! Y'know, because they're a mess...

2) Minced Garlic
Now I realize many garlic purists are likely wanting to nail me to the wall for saying this (and possibly literally, garlic puritans are some crazy people...), but I believe a jar of minced garlic is something that every household needs. It's amazingly simple to use, inexpensive and keeps for a very long time. Mine fits nicely in the top shelf of the door of my refrigerator and I use it for so many things. Garlic mashed potatoes are undoubtedly one of my all-time favorites since they're good by themself but usable in so many other situations.

3) Instant Rice
With the winter season upon us, my crockpot is certainly getting a fair bit of usage in making nice soups and stews... but I'm not exactly the most consistent of cooks. Most of the things I make are made with a knowledge of what goes well together and an understanding of how to fix things if they don't end up exactly the way I like. (Afterall, isn't this what Alton Brown advocates in Good Eats? Not a knowledge of recipes, but a general understanding of how food behaves?). Well, sometimes my soups/stews end up a bit more watery than I would like... and instant rice is remarkably helpful with this. Simply add a small amount to the soup until it is the consistency you like. No need to wait for flour to cook off, no need to even make a roux. With instant rice, you can have a watery soup fixed in mere minutes (okay... in the temp of a crockpot, 10-15 minutes realistically. Still, something has to be said for the benefit of throwing rice in and walking away!).

4) Instant Mashed Potatoes
Anyone who makes Instant Mashed Potatoes as Mashed Potatoes deserves to be shot. Mashed Potatoes are entirely too simple to make, so you should make them right. However, Instant Mashed Potatoes are very useful in thickening gravies, just like the rice above helps thicken broths. I particularly like to use instant mashed potatoes with homemade brown gravy and cream of mushroom soup to produce an amazingly thick and rich gravy that is PERFECT for Shepherd's Pie (not traditional, I know... but I firmly embrace my ability to take foods and make them my own). I also like to use them to make Salisbury Steak, and I've even tried them in meatloaves. :)

5) Cajun Seasoning
Not everything you cook has to be Cajun, per se. A good cajun seasoning is basically salt, peppers, garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder and a few other things depending on the mix. This stuff is exceptional and can help make even the blandest of foods have a little life to them. A small sprinkling won't necessarily register as Cajun cooking, but merely create a bit of intrigue. There is next to nothing you can't use this on if the desired end-result is nice and savory.

A Tirade on Originality

Many, many people are expecting Halloween Pictures and a detailing of the events of the night. That will all be posted shortly, but first and foremost I have a bit of a tirade to embark upon.


People are not original.

I make this statement after the "Most Outrageous" costume party at a club last night. The criteria was supposedly based on presentation and originality. The winner? A guy dressed as The Green Lantern. Now obviously I must have been asleep when the definition of "original" was redefined... but to the best of my knowledge, it is this:

Original: New, fresh, innovative or novel. Created, undertaken or presented for the first time.

Now I'm not merely making things up, this definition is pieced together from an online dictionary. Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary echoes a similar definition. So I am understandably confused how a guy dressed as a superhero (in a costume that is readily purchased) won a contest supposedly based on "originality"... especially considering that there were FOUR guys dressed as the Green Lantern in the room at the time! Maybe the secret lies in a drag queen host so oblivious the bitch didn't realize she should wear panty hose/tights to help hide the dimples of her cellulite-heavy ass.

I'm sorry, I'm a fan of originality; being novel and creative is a major component of why I enjoy crafts as much as I do. There is no higher pleasure for me than to make something, give it out and hear people say, "Oh... that's clever!"So I think it is understandable that I'm a bit irritated that there was such a blatant lack of creativity. Half the people there weren't even in costume, and a good many of those that WERE in costume were only partially done. Seriously, if putting on a mullet wig is all you're going to do why even bother? What's worse... when that wig is ALL that is needed to create the illusion... *shudders*

I'm issuing a call-to-arms. Crafty people need to stand up and assert themselves! If anyone is interested, I'd gladly participate in an actual crafting circle to help share ideas and help progress the capacity of like-minded people. Honestly, if we lose our concepts of originality and craftiness the world will become so boring that not even The Green Lantern will be able to save it...

It Gets Better?

It seems as though there has never been a worse time to be a homosexual youth in America, and the recent wave of teen suicide brought on by bullying at the hands of their peers certainly supports this notion. The It Gets Better Project was established to help combat this problem. Now this organization has recruited a great deal of support from many noted and respected gay individuals like Ellen, Neil Patrick Harris and Chris Colfer from the hit show Glee. Not only that, other individuals with a vested interest in human rights have stepped forward to speak out on the matter - including US President Barack Obama.

The It Gets Better Project lists the following as their mission statement:

THE PLEDGE: Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I'll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I'll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, trans and other bullied teens by letting them know that "It Gets Better."

I agree with the aims of this campaign, but have one simple problem with the majority of videos and statements provided by people to support this project. It doesn't GET better; you have to make it better. I recognize that there are times when life can truly suck, and it seems as if nobody will ever understand you or accept you for who you are. However, in this age of information and technology there is always some means of talking to someone who can help you get through your problems. Chris Colfer speaks out about The Trevor Project, a 24-hour suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth. Forums can be very useful for addressing problems since you can talk to a variety of individuals in similar situations, but anonymity can be protected. I am typically a proponent of active, face-to-face communication... but at the same time, I realize that is particularly hard to do if you're not ready. Individuals who feel as though nobody will ever understand them should take advantage of these sources to learn that there are indeed people out there going through the same thing, who make it to the other side and see that life really does have more to offer than the taunting, bullying, harassment and hatred would have you believe.

What's more, the Make It Better campaign takes this notion one step further. While the It Gets Better Project seems to focus on support and encouragement (a necessary and applaudable notion), the Make It Better campaign has a decently organized website providing youth AND adults tools and means to help make the community around them a better place, supportive of all those who call that place 'home.'

The world can be a scary and angry place, and it often seems like it will never reach a perfect step. Just remember that if you don't give up hope, stay true to yourself and take an active hand in changing the world around you it will indeed get better.

Reptiles v. Mammals

It seems to happen alarmingly often that people will ask me what type of pet would be best for them, and they're surprised to find my answer is some species of reptile. Reptiles can make some truly amazing pets because they're easy to care for (as long as you're adequately informed), inexpensive (as long as they are established in a properly developed enclosure), hypoallergenic and just plain cool.

Instead of typing all this out, I figured I would just share this video. It's a video I made for a contest for LLL Reptile once upon a time, and it actually won me $100 worth of reptiles and supplies, so it must be pretty good, right? Of course, feel free to ask any additional questions you may have :).

Christmas Craft Ideas

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that I rather enjoy crafting my own special christmas presents. I'm sure I would like all of these things, but I'm not entirely certain other people would. So this is going to be a post asking what you think of my ideas, what things you'd be interested in if they were a gift for you, etc.

First of all: I knit. I'm a reasonably talented knitter (as long as I can find away around double-points, don't like wrestling a woolen octopus) and I just think there is something nice about hand-knit gifts. Of course, my sushi scarves tend to be a hit (irregularly striped scarf, looks like a piece of sushi when rolled up). I also have patterns to complete for some Fair Isle (colorwork) hats, and a really interesting fish hat care of my friend Cathy. Since there is a limit to how much I can knit before Christmas, that seems like it will pretty much cover me (though I'm also contemplating an interesting shawl for my mom... We'll see). I also tend to make a variety of cookies for mixed platters. Oh, and hand-painted pots with soil/bulbs for spring seem like a really cute idea.

What do y'all think of those ideas? Do any of them just seem like a waste of time? Also, is there anything crafty you'd like for me to try? You can bet that I will be turning all of these ideas into blog posts, with pictures!

Onward, and Upward... but mostly Onward...

So it would seem that I am once again questioning the direction of my blog... There are so many possibilities and it seems to be simply oozing in all directions and I'd really appreciate if it had a more clarified sense of purpose.

I do, of course, love my opinion posts. They take a little less work on my part, and people seem to appreciate the sassy humor that finds a way into my writing. However, I also love my crafty/how-to posts. A bit more effort, but actually worth reading and including pretty pictures. I like to think that I am more than a bit talented in the way of cooking/plants/crafts, and humor a small romantic notion that my blogs on these topics will lead to me becoming the next Martha Stewart-esque character. :)

So, let me know what you think! Oh, and sometime this week I will prepare an awesome orange-chocolate mousse. It should be picture-heavy... :)

Halloween 101 - Body Paint

So, I like to have a fairly out-there costume... and I believe in immersion. I want to believe that I actually am what I am trying to portray. Sometimes, this doesn't exactly fit with the skin tone I was given. Obvious solution? Body Paint

For example: A Bird of Paradise (Strelitzia reginae) is a pretty interesting plant, and also my favorite tropical bloom. Unfortunately for the person wanting to be a Bird of Paradise, it's also green...

Bird of Paradise, Strelitzia reginae

So obviously, this can present a bit of a problem... unless you're prepared to go all out!

Me, as a Bird of Paradise (Strelitzia reginae) 

Obviously, I'm not naturally green... which presented a problem. Now most of the body paints and creme makeups I've seen have had a number of negative aspects that I didn't like. So, naturally, I experimented and established my own unique system. I simply mix 1 part acrylic craft paint to 1-1.5 parts cocoa butter lotion (I use Queen Helene, but I'm sure any good quality cocoa butter lotion will suffice). The acrylic craft paint means you have limitless color possibilities, and the cocoa butter actually prevents the paint from flaking and drying off instantly. There are a couple things to remember about this stuff, though:

1) This works much better with vibrant colors, pale colors and white are a bit more of a challenge.

2) The paint will lighten in color when mixed with the lotion, but it should dry the color you initially chose (or slightly lighter). The color will be much lighter when applied, but it will darken as it dries.

3) It comes off pretty easily with just soap and water, and I have never had this method cause the OUTRAGEOUS outbreak that other paints have caused. That being said, the color does sometimes linger (it tinted the dry skin on my knees for a couple days, but only a bit that came off easily).

4) This paint is not waterproof. It breathes really well, so you're unlikely to sweat it off. However, I usually also apply a coat of spray glitter just to help secure it and hide any places it might have been lax in coating.

5) If you are applying this to somewhere you need to move, get a friend to help. I needed to apply it to my back, which I could reach with the rollers I had. However, the skin of my back moved as I was applying it, causing an uneven coating. I had a friend apply an even coating in less than 1/5 the time I performed the sloppy, frustrating job on my back.

6) This should go without saying... but take a moment to think about whether or not this is the best option for you. I have had people ask me for my recipe because they REALLY wanted to go out in the bodypaint... and the response in my head was, "Really? Because I bet a bunch of other people would REALLY rather you wore actual clothes..."

Putting the "No" in Techno!

So today saw a spike in nerdiness I had not experienced in sometime: My friend Leigh and I had a truly existential conversation on the notion of communication in the modern era. Mainly, we were complaining about various aspects of "txt speak" that irritate us, but it started to lead into deeper and more hard-hitting points. Undoubtedly, I'm of the opinion that technological advancement has done a great deal to damage our ability to communicate. At one point the complete history and culture of a civilization was dependent on oral tradition, yet now it is possible to "communicate" without once making actual contact with another human being. This, I feel, is shameful.The very nature of communication is (in my less-than-humble opinion) to make a connection with someone else.

Well, all this talk of communication reminded me of this: a duo a friend and I put together/performed on the ways technology is impairing our culture. I was proud that the idea for this came to me after seeing a lolcat image with the phrase, "I can haz thumbs now?"

Enjoy!

Free Things You're Not Doing

So tonight I am going to a yoga class at Discovery Green in downtown Houston. Now, this area is part of an effort to rehabitate downtown; make it a place people want to be at night instead of a place people have to be during the day. I must say, with the variety of programs and classes they offer they are on the right track.

Having lived in Houston all my life (and having been broke longer than that), I have a great respect for free programming: Discovery Green does not dissapoint. With a variety of fitness classes, arts programs... Even a weekly concert series, Discovery Green really is a great place to have fun and get to know some great people. The area really does accomodate just about everything you could want to do: they even have dog runs built in to the space, and a weekly Farmer's Market!

I certainly would not mind if I had a bit more money: if you don't wish you had a bit more, feel free to give me $20. In the meantime, that isn't as important when there is amazing programming like this available. :)

A Query on Being Amusing

On more than one instance I have had the pleasure of being called "funny." This is all well and good, considering that a sense of humor is very important to me; anyone lacking a notion of humor and wit can give up the notion of being considered anywhere close in my life. Being funny is apparently important, as my friend Leigh also wrote a blog about it.

Yet time and time again, I am regarded as funny. Amusing. Entertaining. Witty. Whatever term the current situation best merits. Which leaves me wondering what exactly is it about me that causes this happiness for others. It's not from trying, which would seem to indicate it's merely a natural gift?

Of course, my scientific mind questions the behavioral origins of humor. Is humor instilled in certain individuals as a means of sorting hierarchal disputes without violence, or a means of attracting a mate; both are uses today. I guess I'll just keep telling amusing jokes, witty anecdotes and sassy one-liners until I know more. :)

So how do I make this silk purse?

So today I had a fairly blah, uneventful day. Nothing about it was bad per se, but it doesn't stand out as a wonderful day. If I look back on this day several years from now... Well, let's be honest: I won't even remember this day to look back on it, which leaves me feeling a bit like Lindsey Lohan.

I like going to the gym, working with my plants and taking care of my animals. I'm even trying this new thing of cleaning up a little each day instead of waiting to do everything until my weekend. So I'm going to do all of these things tonight to try to tame these things that are weighing me down (10 words in a row that start with 't'... Ain't that something?).

However, I am always up for suggestions. Now, I am opposed to all forms of animal abuse and several forms of people abuse. Though, if your experience indicates that setting someone on fire and punting them down a football field really lifts your mood, I might be up for it. I'm just curious what other people do, because I'm far too bubbly and effervescent to be feeling "blah."

Halloween - Part I

It should go without saying that I am a crafty person. I like making things myself, and can be often found looking at cute things saying, "I could make that better."

It's for this reason that I think I love Halloween myself. I make my own costumes, and the challenge of making a craft while using myself as the canvas is truly exciting. (That being said, at times I question why I'm working with such a horrible canvas!)

So... Halloween is here. I have decided that I'm going to update people on the status of my costume on here. I'm also going to share a few tips and tricks I've learned, since I have already had quite a few people ask for them!

So the question is: are you feeling crafty?

Out and About Birding

So right now I'm actually going to endorse something: the Texas Parks and Recreation department offers a pass to get into all of their parks. It's a yearly pass, and it really is worth it. If you're interested in the Parks Pass, information can be found here.

Today while on a picnic in Brazos Bend State Park, we were treated to several hundred wood storks flying directly above us. They were flying pretty low, I would guess only 100ft tops. It was a wonderfully impressive sight. We also saw several alligators, coots, orb weavers, etc. Also, one VERY pretty copperhead that my friend Jess told me not to cuddle with.

All in all, Texas parks really have a lot to offer. There are quite a few of them, and it really is nice to be connected to nature that way. :)

Next stop: Canada!

So for some reason or another myself and some friends were discussing existential questions, such as why Interstate highways exist in Hawaii and Alaska. I think it's a possibility for Alaska, you'd just have to travel a good ways through Canada. This poses the question of whether it counts if it falls into Canadian jurisdiction. Obvious solution: start a war to take over Canada!

Seriously, how hard would that be? Those horses aren't that fast, and the red Mountie uniform is more than a bit conspicuous. I honestly think the greatest weapon of mass destruction they possess is the moose!

Though, the question arises: what does Canada have that we want? I'm more interested in a tropical climate so I want nothing to do with their snow. Polar bears are overrated. I guess there is something to be said for having a healthcare system that... I don't know, works? Though really, I'd rather be fat and happy with bacon that doesn't totally suck.

I guess there are a variety of things that Canada could be used for... But I think South Park had it best: Blame Canada!

Will the Real Jak Jak Please Stand Up?

So I will apologize now for the delay between posts. I've been dealing with a situation that has been demanding much of my time and energy: I checked a recent bank statement to discover there are charges that I did not make.

Seriously, there are not many other times when I have been this stressed and irritated. Of course, there isn't much to be done about the situation. I have informed everyone I can, done all I need to do. Now I'm just waiting the 7-10 business days it is expected to take to remedy the situation. So that leaves about 2 weeks that I will be stress... Yay?

I promise to have better, more light-hearted blogs up soon. Special thanks to everyone for the advice and support!

Things Idiots Need to Learn to Do - Part I

So I may be a bad person for saying it, but I seem to run into people who need a little with something. Now I'm not going to suggest that I am perfect; we can all use a little help right now. I call this part one as I foresee many future editions. However, here is a list of 5 things to make sure you know how to do (in no particular order).

-Know how to make a decent pot of coffee.

I'm thinking about the coffee that is awaiting me this morning as I make this post. Too many people don't know how to make good coffee. Don't skimp on the grounds, because you can always water down strong coffee but you can't do a thing to weak coffee. Most bad coffee is like sex in a canoe - f*cking close to water.

-Know how to hold open a door

I admit I am biased. Not only was I mainly raised by three remarkably strong women, but I was also instilled with a sense of chivalry and gentility because of a southern upbringing. All this aside, women like for you to open doors for them. You don't do this because they are incapable (heck, early life experiences taught me they have a tendency to be significantly more capable than their male counterparts) - you do it to make them feel special. Oh, and wear a smile when you do it!

-Know how to smile

I've met a few people who really need help with this one. You may need to practice while thinking of your favorite things, but a smile should convey sincerity and warmth. I should not fear for the safety of my pets when you smile.

-Know how to use a bus schedule

Okay... It isn't rocket surgery people. First of all, I promise that there is a bus going somewhere you want to go - you can try to take advantage of it instead of bitch-slapping the environment. Plus... You never what situation you will end up in. Cars can break down, but a sense of self-sufficiency doesn't.

-Know how to speak up

I understand that not everyone is blessed in the ways of projecting - but everyone is capable of it. Nobody wants to strain to hear you, all that will do is instill a mindset that you simply don't need to be heard!

Bromeliads Made Simple!

So it is no secret that I have an affinity for plants. Between the plants I care for, the foods I cook and the crafts I come up with... let's just say that I would be completely okay with being the next Martha Stewart (though, let's avoid the part of going to be the prison bitch of some 300lb linebacker named 'Shirley', okay?). It's not surprising that a lot of people ask me questions about plants, so I've decided today to offer a few tips on one of my favorite groups of plants: Bromeliads. Now, I don't intend on offering species profiles; you can find those online. Instead, these are just a few tips that I've found that seem to work.

1) Use a media that works for you



I've planted this Aechmea fasciata in a very light mix. It has a bit of soil, orchid bark, perlite and coco fiber. It is very light and as you can see, there is a pup - a new bromeliad, growing in. Actually, there are three so far. This pot has a lot of drainage. The point I'm trying to make here is that there is undoubtedly a media that will work with the plant and work with you. This mixture is very forgiving if I forget to water, but it also won't turn into a bog container in the heaviest Houston rains.

2) Don't give up on the plant
3) Make it pretty



I put those two together since they both tie to this picture. You see the red bromeliad (unknown species to me, and I don't really care)? I obtained my first division of that plant with the thought that it was destined for death as certainly as Justin Bieber is destined for ridicule. It was dried and fried, had absolutely no roots and the foliage had all been crushed. That was only a year ago, now it has 6 pups coming in. Bromeliads are capable of remarkable regeneration as long as you can provide them a consistent level of care. That's where the third point comes in. I absolutely love how the thin red foliage plays off the wide green foliage of a Neoregelia sp. in this container. By creating something you like to look at, you're more likely to take care of it.

4) If it's not hurting it, leave it be!



For all intents and purposes, this is not a pretty bloom spike. This spike initially bloomed in June (so, four months ago?). The pink spike was much more vibrant, not to mention the showy blue and purple flowers. However, the spike is not hurting the plant... and in all actuality, it's provided a nice tropical touch to my balcony for the past couple months.

So there you have it... just a few quick and easy tips for dealing with Bromeliads. Of course, there are so many different conditions and there is a lot to think about. However, these plants are resilient and I don't see any reason why anyone should have a problem with them!

Happiness in the form of YouTube Videos

So, I'm in something of a bad mood right now. My knee is thoroughly angry with me for some unknown offense and is actively voicing several bad things to me right now (I'd share them with you, but I have a personal goal to try to limit profanity on my blog). However, everyone ends up in a bad mood every now and then... so I would now like to provide links to the top 3 things on YouTube that make me happy. :)

#3: Sam Tsui Covers




I think Sam Tsui is very talented and the unique covers typically create a more upbeat attitude.

#2: Corgi Flop



Seriously, this video just demonstrates how I tend to feel when I'm in a bad mood. I become convinced that I'm going somewhere... and I genuinely think it's happening. However, everyone around me can see first-hand that I'm not really going anywhere. :)

#1: Laughing Baby



If nothing else can cheer me up, this video can. There's just something about the sound of a baby's laughter, and the look in their face as they prepare to laugh that is magical.

Hope I was able to make your day today!

Is God an Evil Dwarf?

First and foremost, let me begin by saying that I am a complete and total gleek. I enjoy the characters, the storylines (though getting tired of Rachel), and the music. For a former debater, the way the show argues for increased support of arts education is thoroughly appreciated.

However, the show also has the capacity to hit a number of highly-pressing social issues. The episode on faith which aired last night was just such an episode. In essence, Kurt faced a serious issue and was left to contemplate his own notions of faith. Kurt asks his fellow Glee-clubbers to explain how he could believe in a God that made him gay and encouraged his followers to hate him.

In light of the ridiculous amount of bullying cases being reported due to harassment of young homosexuals, this episode comes at a remarkably important time. The fact of the matter is that homosexuals are one of the most socially marginalized groups that is antagonized and oppressed at a ridiculous rate.

However, I'm not going to argue the issue of gay oppression. Instead, the very real problem of a lack of faith in the gay community will be the subject of this post. Kurt hit the nail firmly on the head with regard to spirituality, for himself as well as the majority of gays I have met.

I'm not intending on pushing religion down your throat... I don't believe in religion. Faith is a different notion entirely. The world is far too difficult to deal with on your own, especially when the world seems against you so often. Plus, I personally have a hard time believing that the majesty of this world is the result of a random accident. Religion is not a necessary component of life, but I believe faith in something bigger than yourself is.

For those who do not watch Glee... First of all, WATCH IT! It is thoroughly amazing. At the end of the episode there was a sense of recognition of the importance of faith... Pretty good for a network television show.

I am a firm believer of science, and have had many difficult times understanding how faith and science could play together. Care to discuss these ideas further? You had me at "fabulous hat."

Blackberry Blogging

So apparently I'm capable of blogging from my blackberry. I'm not entirely sure that this is the best possible idea, considering how random my mind can be. The benefit of having to wait to get to a computer is that ideas have the opportunity to mature a bit before I present them to the world.

For example... If I see an interracial dwarf couple, I can now talk about it almost immediately. (Seriously though... He had a cane and a purple hat!)

This all just poses the question of whether or not technology is making life better, and I'm not convinced that it is. I also have a hard time believing life is any easier... I may be able to call people across the country, but I used to not care as much. It helped make seeing friends special, now it just reminds me how thankful I am to be separated from some magnificently stupid people!

I'm not going to say all technology is bad... Personally, I like not dying of random diseases. Communicative technology, however, must be viewed with caution. Cultures based on an oral tradition tend to be closer and more unified... Though there may be no correlation.

That being said... This blog was posted via my Blackberry. :)

Honesty: An Ethical Quandary

So today I was informed that I needed to lie sometimes. The problem was that I desperately wanted to go get a soda (energy levels depleted and I didn't want more coffee for fear that someone would die), but carry no change. As I reached for my wallet to double-check I uttered this small prayer out loud:

"Dear God, if you just make a quarter appear in my wallet I will... well, I'm not going to lie and say I'll try to be a better person or something, but honesty has to count for something?"

Alas, no quarter. However, I was promptly informed that it might be okay for me to lie about certain things, since there were apparently many things wrong with that statement. Rappers get to thank God for helping them write songs about drugs and booty and grillz and I'm being criticized for being honest in a mock prayer!?

Though, this does pose the question: When is it okay to lie? I was raised to believe that it's never the best option. As far as white lies are concerned, why waste the energy? Keeping track of big lies is far too complex. Though, being honest with people may hurt their feelings... and I'm not stranger to bitch-slapping others with my opinions. I think I will remain blunt and direct, but at what point is lying okay?

Definition: Scrub

So in a malicious frenzy of anger and attitude, I have decided that I will use this blog post to provide a modern definition of the word "Scrub." Now of course, when this term comes to light many will think of the TLC song "No Scrubs," which will indeed be referenced here to provide a bit of a paradigm. Of course, I believe that tenants of this paradigm are untrue, and will be addressed with regard to the definition.

Ever since this term found it's way into popular culture as a colloquialism to define "a person of insignificant size or standing," a variety of other definitions have also been coined. Some of them stay along the same principles. Some of them, particularly the definitions used by "gamers", are about as legitimate as Macy Gray's Grammy nomination (which is to say, in my less-than-humble-opinion, NOT). Let's simplify a scrub to be a person of insignificant standing. On to the song!

"If you don't have a car and you're walking..." is not necessarily a scrub characteristic. I personally opt to stay away from vehicles because I'm not comfortable in them (you spend a couple months in the hospital and we'll see if you disagree). I also like the environmental impact, and know many who opt to be green by biking and utilizing public transit as well.

"If you live at home with your mama..." is, again, not necessarily scrub-like in nature. For example... I see nothing wrong with living with your parents if you are pursuing higher education. Perhaps you are caring for an older parent who requires a bit of assistance. This is one of those times when "insignificant standing" becomes critical to the definition. Living with a parent for a reason is acceptable, whereas living with a parent out of a lack of desire to get off your butt and into the world is not.

"If you have a shorty but you don't show love..." is a tenant that most can agree upon. While you may not have read the fine print in the contract which pointed out children are a possibility of certain acts, the fact of the matter is you knew. In captive populations of animals, one must consider the genetic desirability of the offspring IN ADDITION to the potential future home of that offspring. Why is this same foresight not put into the reproduction of humans?

So in all fairness... the TLC song does require a bit of clarification, but the tenants can be applied to the definition of a person of insignificant standing. The fact of the matter is that whatever definition you choose, many people are united in the belief of:

"No, I don't want no scrub. A scrub is [someone] who can't get no love from me!"

Des epines

So, it seems only fair that I provide a bit of explanation as to where the title of my blog comes from. Anyone who ever been delighted to read "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery should be familiar with the notion of thorns. In essence, this child's tale brings to light the story of a rose with four small, delicate thorns. The rose is not humbled by this... on the contrary, this fragile flower is more than willing to take on the claws of tigers. This seems to be the approved method for how I have lived my life.

Through accidents of all sorts (physical, mental and emotional), I have more than proven that I am an individual capable of being hurt. That being said, I still begin each day more than willing to take on the world and whatever challenges it throws my way. (Those who have read the story also know that the attitude of the rose is little more than bald-faced lying, a "fake it until you make it" mentality.)

I like this book. It is FILLED with amazing philosophical quotes. If you haven't read it, I must seriously and genuinely suggest it. Important thoughts include things such as:

-You are responsible for the things that you "tame", the relationships you forge.

-Things of true importance are visible only with the heart.

So that is the reasoning behind my blog. Not only does it describe where I feel I am coming from, it describes where I hope to go. When speaking of the rose, alone on it's own little planet, the little prince points out that it doesn't matter that he can't see his rose. He can look at the stars; knowing his rose is amongst them will then make him happy, and he can then find happiness just from the stars. I try my best to make those around me better and happier... perhaps they can find the beauty in the stars as well?

Le Voyage Commence...

Hi!

At the urging of more than a few friends, it has been decided that I seriously needed to consider beginning a blog of my very own. Hopefully this will prove to be a good choice in the long-run, as opposed to a serious lack of judgment. I'll spend this first week trying to tell people more about me and why I have opted to begin this endeavor. After that? Well, the random eccentricities of my mind will simply come to light. You will hopefully be amused and interested, potentially terrified. Yay!

So... we'll start off with a little bit about me. I'm just going to start randomly typing facts about myself and that should hopefully lend a hint as to the tangents my mind is capable of. Let's begin:

-I'm currently sitting on my bedroom floor, with the parts of my desktop computer scattered around me. The reason for this is that my router isn't in the most practical location and my wireless router has decided it is done working. So, instead of being on the desk in the dining room... my computer has found it's way here. This will not last long, I promise.

-I'm irritated when things don't work for me the same way they do for other people. For example, I often hear other people complain about how their technological devices are starting to "act up." I should wish to be so lucky. Instead of being cordial about quitting by offering notice, my appliances tend to create as much of a scene as possible when quitting. They yell at me, throw stuff and I swear that more than one of them has attempted to steal the stapler.

-I like my staplers. I'm actually a bit of a craft junkie... I find it more relaxing than other stupid things that people do. Plus, when I'm done I actually end up with stuff! (Who doesn't need a marbled terra cotta display pot wrapped with ribbon? Honestly...)

-I grow plants. I have orchids, bromeliads, cacti and succulents, plumeria and all manner of tacky houseplants. They will most likely be the subject of several posts in the future...

-I don't like pigs. I believe them to be a serious design flaw, and if there was an forethought to evolutionary design there would reproducing packages of bacon. I love bacon. I just dislike the intermediate step. A pig tried to eat me when I was a kid and that's a grudge I haven't let go.

-I like swans. I mention this because I was also attacked by a swan when I was a child. Once upon a time, the lake at Hermann Park was a nasty pool with sandy banks and, you guessed it, swans. Swans are not particularly kind creatures and at 5 years old it was more than easy enough for a swan to try to drag me to a watery death. Luckily, mom was there... she beat the swan off with her purse. Having worked very closely with the birds, I have to give credit to someone willing to confront an aggressive swan.

-Je parle un peu du francais.

-Now when I say this, I seriously mean "un peu!" Marginal quantities of French are spoken here (unless of course I'm particularly angry or can't find my keys. Apparently I'm fluent at that point). I feel obliged to mention the French though, since it will be very important in explaining the name of my blog and why I've finally agreed to write a blog. You'll have to come back another day for that, though.

Well, that seems like more than enough for today, wouldn't you agree? :)