Definition: Scrub

So in a malicious frenzy of anger and attitude, I have decided that I will use this blog post to provide a modern definition of the word "Scrub." Now of course, when this term comes to light many will think of the TLC song "No Scrubs," which will indeed be referenced here to provide a bit of a paradigm. Of course, I believe that tenants of this paradigm are untrue, and will be addressed with regard to the definition.

Ever since this term found it's way into popular culture as a colloquialism to define "a person of insignificant size or standing," a variety of other definitions have also been coined. Some of them stay along the same principles. Some of them, particularly the definitions used by "gamers", are about as legitimate as Macy Gray's Grammy nomination (which is to say, in my less-than-humble-opinion, NOT). Let's simplify a scrub to be a person of insignificant standing. On to the song!

"If you don't have a car and you're walking..." is not necessarily a scrub characteristic. I personally opt to stay away from vehicles because I'm not comfortable in them (you spend a couple months in the hospital and we'll see if you disagree). I also like the environmental impact, and know many who opt to be green by biking and utilizing public transit as well.

"If you live at home with your mama..." is, again, not necessarily scrub-like in nature. For example... I see nothing wrong with living with your parents if you are pursuing higher education. Perhaps you are caring for an older parent who requires a bit of assistance. This is one of those times when "insignificant standing" becomes critical to the definition. Living with a parent for a reason is acceptable, whereas living with a parent out of a lack of desire to get off your butt and into the world is not.

"If you have a shorty but you don't show love..." is a tenant that most can agree upon. While you may not have read the fine print in the contract which pointed out children are a possibility of certain acts, the fact of the matter is you knew. In captive populations of animals, one must consider the genetic desirability of the offspring IN ADDITION to the potential future home of that offspring. Why is this same foresight not put into the reproduction of humans?

So in all fairness... the TLC song does require a bit of clarification, but the tenants can be applied to the definition of a person of insignificant standing. The fact of the matter is that whatever definition you choose, many people are united in the belief of:

"No, I don't want no scrub. A scrub is [someone] who can't get no love from me!"